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Connecting Through Conflict

Here’s the facts: Men process life through a logical lens. Everything has a box and that’s where it belongs. Women, however, process through emotion. Facts are irrelevant, she wants to know that you’ve connected with how she’s feeling.

Imagine this scenario: You’re on holidays at a resort and, after dinner, your wife sneaks into the swimming pool for a quick swim. She’ s gets a cramp in the deep and is struggling, she cries out for your help and you have to jump in, fully clothed to help her.

Afterward, you're busy listing reasons why swimming after eating is risky, why she should swim when the pool is closed and there’s no lifeguard on duty. Sure, those are all valid points, but while you're fixated on the facts, your marriage is drowning in conflict, resentment, and loneliness.

You keep arguing and going around the same mountain, and it feels like you never win an argument.

The truth is this it's not about winning or losing - it's about connecting. Your wife is not interested in your logic. What she really wants is for you to understand how she feels.

If you’ve been hung up on providing logical and trying to solve her problems with practical answers, put all of that aside. She’s not interested in any of it. She wants to connect. She wants to feel seen, heard and safe – to know that’s she’s not drowning alone in her pain, rather you’ve got her back and she is safe in your presence.

So, make a shift. Instead of focusing solely on facts, take a moment to tune into her emotions. Show her that you're not just there to provide answers, but to truly empathise and understand.

Prioritising emotional connection in our relationships can make a world of difference. By acknowledging and validating each other's emotions, we create a stronger foundation for connection and understanding.

Commit to showing up for your spouse in a more empathetic way. Together, you can build a relationship that is not only based on logic, but on genuine care and understanding.

What she truly craves isn't how much you know, but whether you care.

Men, if you're struggling to connect with your wife and provide the safety she craves, reach out so I can help you with practical strategies to develop your emotional intelligence and create the marriage you desire.

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