If your sex life is colder than a Tassie winter, then I’ve got some tips that will bring the sizzle back to the bedroom. Talking about sex can drastically improve your sex life. Now, if you're thinking, "Do we really need to discuss it?" Yes, you do, and here’s why: 70% of marriages see improved intimacy and trust when partners openly communicate about sex. That’s huge! (Bet you haven’t heard that in while)
Talking about sex doesn’t have to be as awkward as it sounds. In fact, it’s one of the most intimate conversations you can have.
In my book, Intimate Conversations, 180 Questions to Ignite the Love, Passion & Excitement Your Marriage Needs I delve into how open communication can lead to a more satisfying and adventurous sex life. Not only that but it will also bring you emotionally closer, with 60% of couples who talk about their fantasies say they feel more connected emotionally.
When it comes to talking about the most intimate part of your marriage, how you approach these conversations is what will contribute to a positive outcome.
1. Start with the Basics
Begin with the simple stuff. Don’t go all in with questions that could make your spouse squirm, causing them to shut down and What do you like? What don’t you like? It’s like ordering a pizza – you’ve got to know if your partner is into pineapple or if that’s a hard no.
2. Timing is Everything
Don’t drop the, "Let’s talk about sex" bomb during a fight or when one of you is knee-deep in Netflix. Find a relaxed moment, maybe after dinner, a date night or during a quiet evening walk. Try saying, “Hey, can we make a time to talk about our sex life?”
3. Be Honest, Not Brutal
Share your thoughts kindly. If there’s something you’re not into, be gentle about it. Think of it as constructive feedback, not a performance review.
4. Listen Up
This is a two-way street. Really listen to your partner’s desires and concerns. Nodding and saying "Uh-huh" while thinking about the footy doesn’t count.
5. Keep it Light
Inject a bit of humour. Laughter can defuse any awkwardness. Remember, you’re in this together.
6. Explore Together
Use these conversations as a gateway to explore new things together. Be curious and open-minded. 50% of couples who regularly discuss their sexual desires report higher levels of satisfaction. Who knows what new adventures await?
By opening up and talking about sex, you’re not just improving your bedroom antics – you’re building trust, intimacy, and connection. If you don't know where to start, Intimate Conversations, has got you covered with 180 questions on a multitude of sexual topics from the mild to the very spicy.
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