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The Power of Forgiveness

When trust is shattered in a relationship, forgiving your spouse for the pain they've caused can feel like an insurmountable task. However, I'm here to tell you that it is possible to restore and reunite even after significant breaches of trust, such as infidelity or financial betrayal.

I’ve seen many couples restore and reunite following big issues of broken trust, particularly around infidelity and misuse of finances.

Trust is built drop by drop, with every action that honours your word, protects your spouse, and fosters transparency. Each of these actions adds a drop to the trust bucket. However, when trust is broken, it's as if the bottom of the bucket falls out, leaving behind a deep void where resentment and emotional walls take hold.

These emotional barriers, intended to shield against further hurt, actually isolate both partners, creating a larger gap in emotional connection and vulnerability.

So, how do we fix this?

Rebuilding trust is a joint effort, requiring both partners to play an active role. For the partner who has been hurt, forgiveness becomes their greatest challenge. Here are three reasons why forgiveness is essential in your marriage:

1. Forgiveness starts with you: Holding onto unforgiveness means holding onto the pain inflicted upon you. By choosing to forgive, you make a conscious decision to let go of that pain, freeing yourself from its grip.

2. Forgiveness paves the way for the future: When you forgive, you create a future unburdened by hurt, resentment, and anger. It's a gift you give not only to yourself but also to your spouse and children.

3. Forgiveness sets the standard: Forgiving someone who has hurt us doesn't signify weakness; it demonstrates strength. In forgiving, you discover a deeper resolve and inner strength to establish and protect boundaries, and to fight for your relationship when challenges arise.

4. Forgiveness restores intimacy: Broken trust damages the emotional intimacy you once shared. The path to restoration lies in forgiveness. When you forgive your partner, you turn towards each other, reigniting an emotional connection.

Remember, forgiveness takes time and intentional effort from both partners. Progress, not perfection, should be your goal.

Learning to let go and embarking on the forgiveness journey is something we address in counselling. If trust has been broken in your relationship, repairing it becomes crucial, as your marriage cannot thrive without trust.

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