Ever find yourself nodding along in a conversation while secretly wondering what’s for dinner? We’ve all been there. But let’s face it—pretending to listen isn’t going to win you any gold stars. If you want to truly connect with your spouse, mastering the art of active listening is key.
What Is Active Listening?
Active listening is more than just hearing words; it’s about truly understanding the message behind them. Think of it as tuning into a radio frequency where you catch every nuance and subtlety. It’s a skill that makes you a better communicator and a more empathetic human.
Step 1: Be Present
First things first: put down the phone, mute the TV, and focus. Being present means giving your spouse your undivided attention. It’s like saying, “Hey, you matter to me,” without uttering a single word. And let’s be honest, we could all use a little more face-to-face time that doesn’t involve emojis.
Step 2. Ask the Right Questions
Open-ended questions are your friend. They encourage you to expand on your partner’s thoughts and feelings, leading to deeper, more meaningful conversations. Instead of “Did you have a good day?” try “What was the toughest part of your day?” My new guide Connecting Questions is the perfect resource to help you ask open-ended questions. There’s literally 100 questions in there.
Step 3: Empathise
Put yourself in their shoes (figuratively, of course). Try to understand their emotions and perspective. Phrases like “That sounds tough” or “I can see why you’d feel that way” go a long way in showing empathy. Remember, it’s not about solving their problems but about being there for them.
Practice Makes Perfect
Like any skill, active listening takes practice. Start small—try it out in your next conversation and notice the difference. Get a copy of Connecting Questions to help deepen your conversation and your connection Not only will it make your interactions more meaningful, but it’ll also deep your connection without leading to conflict. Available now.
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