People don’t die from snake bites. It’s true! It's not the bite that's lethal; it's the venom. Another awful truth is that we will all experience hurt and pain in our marriage that has been inflicted by our spouse, either intentionally or not. And when we're hurt, it's not the injury but the bitterness, anger, and hatred that silently corrodes our well-being and our relationship.
The antidote that everyone needs when we’ve been hurt is forgiveness. It's not about condoning or forgetting; it's about freeing ourselves from the toxic emotions that chain us to the pain. Forgiveness isn’t easy because at its core, forgiveness means giving up the right to hurt the person who has hurt you. It almost seems unjust. Yet, it’s the key to the freedom you need from the pain and resentment that the injury has caused.
If you’re struggling to forgive. Here’s some practical steps you can take:
1. Reflect & Release
Take a moment to understand how holding onto resentment affects your well-being. Acknowledge that forgiveness is for your own liberation, not the other person.
2. Love Yourself:
Shift your focus from the hurt to your own emotions. Practice self-compassion and recognise that healing begins from within.
3. Choose Forgiveness:
Make it a conscious decision. Release negativity; let go of resentment's grip. It's a process, so be patient and take one step at a time – just don’t stop taking steps!
4. Practice Empathy:
Try to see things from your spouse's perspective, separating the person from their actions. Cultivate empathy and compassion as you work towards forgiveness together.
5. Set Boundaries:
Forgiveness doesn't mean allowing toxicity to linger. Establish shared boundaries to protect the marriage and prioritise your well-being.
6. Get Help:
Healing takes time and support. Reach out to trusted friends, family, or book a counselling consult with me, either alone or together. You don’t need to struggle alone.
7. Re-Connect:
Nurture your marriage through shared self-care practices. Engage in activities that bring both of you joy, practice mindfulness together, and cultivate a positive mindset as a couple.
Remember, forgiveness is your gift to yourself. Choose it, release the venom, and let healing and liberation flow.
